SCISSORING - myth, legend or a lesbian must?
This is my very first article for Bold Humans, and I must say this is a very fun yet controversial topic. I'm Jules, a nonbinary lesbian of 30 years old (they/them pronouns), and I'm here to tell you about my wonderful journey into the world of scissoring!
DISCLAIMER: In this article, I will be describing my own experiences with scissoring, and those only consist of vulva on vulva action. There are lots of other options when it comes to penis-owners, which is also loads of fun! I can however only talk from my own experience.
As any good writer, I first did a little google search on the term. First thing that pops up, is - alas - lesbian porn on pornhub. My aversion for scissoring first started as a teen, when I noticed all the cishet men in my environment immediately assumed that was the only legitimate lesbian sex position. Or as in the immortal words of Mr. Garrison in South Park:
"Really, I don't understand how two women can make love. I mean, unless they sort of scissor or something…"
These cishet men had such a limited understanding of sex, all they can imagine lesbians did was just bump their genitals together, like they bump their parts against their partner's groins as well, and they ren't creative enough to think of doing anything else. So this, and South Park, was my very first introduction to the wondrous world of scissoring. Therefore, I didn't believe it was a real thing. I truly believed it was a myth.
Fast forward to age 24, where I had a girlfriend and during sex she suddenly asked if I wanted to give scissoring a go. As I'm somewhat of a "yes-man" person, I agreed. Especially in the bedroom, I'm the kind of person that wants to try everything at least once, unless it's a hard limit. What could be the harm?
We got our bodies in position, and awkwardly bumped our vulvas together. After a few beats, I asked her: "Is this doing anything for you yet?" She replied with a casual "not really."
So we moved on to a different position. (I can confidently tell those guys in my youth that believed scissoring truly was the only option, that we have a Smörgåsbord of other options.) After this experience, I was truly set in my belief that scissoring really must be a myth. It didn't do anything for me or my girlfriend at the time, so therefore, it must not be a thing.
I was wrong!
Over 2 years ago, I met my current girlfriend (also they/them pronouns). Our first date was kind of wild - one hour and a half into the date we were already having wild sexual relations together. At 8 PM, we took a little break, I made chicken nuggets while we waited for our Chinese takeaway, I got fucked again while cooking, and after our meal, we continued our sexuals in the bedroom. That's when it happened.
I'm not very sure how we got there, but at a certain point I was moving my hips in a certain way. To which my girlfriend responded, hovering over me, "Oh, so you want to scissor?" with a grin. I laughed and explained my short history with scissoring, to which they replied: "we could give it another go... Maybe you didn't do it right the first time?"
I felt such a nice connection with them, I agreed, and at that point, I was completely proven wrong. Scissoring was AMAZING! And ever since then, it has become a real staple in our sex position arsenal.
So what was different? Here are Jules' tips for the perfect scissor session! (Try to say that ten times fast)
Lubrication
The vulvas need to
be super wet and slippery. That had been my first mistake - with my ex, we just dryly bumped our vulvas together. Make them nice and slippery. Either you can eat each other out vigorously (with lots of spit and drooling) on beforehand, or you can use lube. Or do both! Lube is always a lovely addition to whatever you're doing in the bedroom. The point is that you can really slide your vulvas together.
(Sidenote: use waterbased lube if you want to include silicone toys!)
Position
This truly is the hardest part. It can take some time to find the perfect position to scissor, even for two veteran lesbians such as me and my girlfriend. What works best for us, is to "hook" our legs together like the classic illustration of 2 scissors. I usually lie on my back, with one leg straight in front of me, bent at the knee, and one leg lying more to the side. My girlfriend then grabs the leg I have straight and straddles it on the bottom with their vulva, so they have something to hold on to while they grind. For extra spice (and lovely for those who like feet), they sometimes grab my leg and kiss my feet while they grind. Both clits need to touch something, but not necessarily each other! That's an important one. Usually, our clits grind on each others thighs. It can take a while to find the correct position. Don't get discouraged! Have patience and keep trying until you find the literal sweet spot.
Movement
It really is a rhythmic grinding, rather than a bumping. The top can lead with the movement (it helps if they have experience with strapping, so they already have that grinding "mojo", as I call it.) The bottom then follows with what gives them the most pleasure. Follow each other's rhythm, and once you're in the flow, it feels incredible!
It can help if you have experience humping pillows or other body parts, by the way. It's exactly that kind of movement you do on top of each other.
Extra's
Spice it up with toys! My favorite is to put the top of a magic wand between both clits, so they both grind on the wand together. I can imagine this could also work amazingly with people with a penis. If you have a hard time finding a good position, using a magic wand as a buffer can be a great solution. All you gotta do is make sure your clit stays on the magic wand.
Another option is to put a double-ended dildo in both vaginas, but I personally don't have experience with that. Another fun idea could be to both have remote controlled eggs inserted.
I hope I was able to debunk the myth around scissoring with this!
And darlings, if you give it a go, and you decide it's not for you after all: there's no harm in that. Do whatever makes you feel good!
